Three Steps To Coaching Gratitude Effectively

 ~Gratitude~

Among coaches, I hear this word tossed around. Ranging from wishing parents would show more gratitude to the desire for our wrestlers to throw down from a place of gratitude for the opportunity, it's clear that gratitude is important to us. As well, it should be.

“Gratitude is the foundation for greatness,” said Sanderson, who will bring his nine qualifiers to Pittsburgh for the NCAA wrestling championships Thursday through Saturday at PPG Paints Arena. “Gratitude is the foundation for lasting success in anything that you do. You take that away, the foundation is going to crumble a bit.”

The benefits of gratitude extend far beyond manners and common decency. It can be the turning point in a wrestler's mindset. Even if it is as simple as changing their approach from an "I have to" approach to an "I get to" approach, gratitude allows a wrestler to get more from themselves and more out of the sport.

Gratitude allows all of us to suffer more without a loss in happiness or quality of life. It allows us all to find the energy and motivation to get going. It allows us to find the energy and motivation to keep going. And it helps make us more resilient to failure.

Great news right?

Back to the start, I hear coaches talk about gratitude. But it's usually an "I wish" or "If only" statement. It needs to become a part of the daily grind, a part of the program culture, and a point of emphasis among the staff.

How?

First, how not to do it... Mentioning it a handful of times during practice won't do anything. For several reasons, one being they're teenagers so they're going to ignore you. The other is practice is intense, adrenaline is high, and their brain is filtering out any information that doesn't help them survive (aka fight and flight mode). A seasoned wrestler's body starts preparing for this even when they start thinking about practice.

HOW TO PRACTICE GRATITUDE IN THE WRESTLING SEASON

STEP ONE: AWARENESS

Treat is as a basic skill, practice it daily. - Few things. 1. It is a skill. 2. It is a basic skill, meaning that it's a building block of several larger skills, not just one. Like the penetration step is a building block to all leg attacks among other takedowns, gratitude is a building block to mindfulness, confidence, and mental toughness. If the penetration step was only a part of one move, it wouldn't be a basic skill.

-Long story short... practice it daily: Each day, ask a few wrestlers/coaches what they're grateful for.

STEP TWO: EDUCATION

Dig deeper weekly. - Most coaches have a time with their wrestlers where they "lecture" their wrestlers. Pick one of those times to discuss the role gratitude plays in our lives. Tell a story about how gratitude helped you fulfill a commitment to a family member or how gratitude helped a program legend push through a challenge or overcome an obstacle. Look up a couple of studies regarding the positive benefits of gratitude.

-Long story short... without telling them you're about to lecture them on gratitude, lecture them on gratitude every week.

STEP THREE: MODELING

Talk and Walk Gratitude - As a staff, commit to this in your own lives... not just as coaches, but as parents, teachers, friends, sons and daughters, etc. Live a life of gratitude and let it change you.

Then commit to changing how you give feedback to your wrestlers. From the daily greeting: Instead of replying "Hi Marven" or "Hey Kayla" when Marven & Kayla says hey coach, say "Hey, I'm happy to see you Marven, work hard today." or "Hi Kayla, glad to have you here, let's get after it today!"

To post match/dual feedback: Instead of saying "Good job grinding out that win in OT, it changed the momentum of the whole dual." say "Wow that was great, I'm really thankful for your effort and grit in that OT..."

-Long story short: Practice gratitude in your own life and watch it rub off on those around you.

Side note: Stop saying good job. It's lazy, uninspired, and pointless. Get excited about positive feedback... I digress.

BONUS STEPS:

*Recruit the captains. If your captains just lead warm-up and call a coin flip, you don't have a captain. You just con a kid into doing part of your job. Let them be leaders. Every where I mentioned staff above, plug your captains in as well. Peer leadership is far more influential and it's already affecting every team. Instead of hoping for a positive effect, give it direction and maximize your benefit.

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Written by Daniel Sabin of Return To Fit

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